*Mom/Grandma Joanie*

Yesterday after i went to watch the girls play soccer, Sydney came home with me to help out with chores. On the drive from the field to my home, I had Phantom of the Opera playing. Little did I know that this would be the start to a beautiful conversation between Syd and I.

Syd: "I love this song"
Syd: "It reminds me of Grandma Joanie"
(This got my attention)
Suz: "Oh really why's that babe?"
Syd: "There is a lot of love between the two but it's just got a sad feeling."

I think I was silent for a few moments wondering where this came from. Of course curiosity got the best of me and so I continued the conversation.

Suz: "So babe, why are you sad when you think about Grandma Joanie?"
Syd: "Because I don't know her."
Suz: "Has anyone ever told you anything about her?"
Syd: "A little. I know she's your mom and my dads mom. Was she nice?"

At this point in our conversation, I know I was involved but at the same time my mind was wondering. I was at Sydney's same age when mom passed away. I know I was young and remember a handful of things about mom but I have never really stepped back and realized how young I was.

We pulled into the driveway, turned the car off and proceeded into the house. As we were walking up the front steps she asks if I had a picture of Grandma Joanie. I think at this point I was proud and excited for Syd's curiosity. Excited to have a chance to talk about the memories I remember and the stories in which I have been told.

Stories and memories were told and questions from Syd kept coming up. I got pictures out and showed them to her, "Her hair is pretty". "Does she still look like this?" "Do you miss her?" The innocence and curiosity of a child is absolutely amazing! Her questions definitely sparked a fire inside with feelings and thoughts of Mom.

Growing up I would always wonder "Why as a young girl did I lose my mother to cancer?" So many questions I once had that all began with "Why?"... I think after time and as an adult I see how things have played out and have not asked those questions.

In the past I will admit I feel robbed of the time that I was not able to spend with mom. I was somewhat envious of my siblings that really got to know her. I was jealous that they had memories of her for many more years than I. However the question raises in my mind - what is harder? Having the opportunity to get to know her, having those memories to work through knowing what they are missing? Or being young and not knowing what I'm missing out on? Either way I have come to a point in my life where I am grateful for my siblings and the time they spent with her. Hearing the stories, memories and learning about one of the most amazing women is truly a blessing that I get to have. I know that I have a long road ahead of me to where I need to be so that I can be with her. That is what keeps me going at times. Knowing there is a mother in the heavens that loves me.

I'm so blessed to have the family that I do and for the trials that we have gone through! I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to share with my nieces and nephews the stories and memories that I know of Mom "Grandma Joanie".

**Thank you Thank you**

I want to thank the West Family for opening their home to me this past weekend! What an amazing opportunity to experience life on the Ranch and to meet an amazing family. Thank you for the hospitality and for the kindness!

Canada is definitely a beautiful place because of the people and the picture perfect mountains.

Thank you again!

*Ode to Opinion*

o⋅pin⋅ion 
–noun
1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

The world we live in today is accompanied by Politics, Religion, Economy, Relationships, War, Family, Addiction(s), Hollywood, etc. However with these additions to life, opens a door of emotions and Opinion!

This past week I have experienced the true definition of Opinion: "a personal view, attitude, or appraisal". Emotions and frustration on both parties were tested and reactions were that of a lesson learned.

I have always believed that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I have supported that for as long as I can remember! However the true lesson is how we all as humans react to the opinions of others!

I love that we are our own individuals that have our own beliefs and opinions! I love that we can openly say how we feel. I love that I learn about subjects and most of all about myself from listening to others opinions!

I want to send a great thank you out to the one that opened my eyes to Opinion! You taught me more about myself from your opinion that you shared with us all!

Here's to the bread we put in our baskets and here's to our own opinion of what jam we put on the bread! :)

*Birthday Calculator*

I had this link emailed to me and thought I would try it out! The results were actually really fun and interesting to read! Check it out if you are curious about your birthday!

http://www.paulsadowski.com/BirthDay.asp

*27 January 1980*

Your date of conception was on or about 6 May 1979 which was a Sunday.

You were born on a Sundayunder the astrological sign Aquarius.Your Life path number is 1.

Your fortune cookie reads: Only love lets us see normal things in an extraordinary way.

Life Path Compatibility:You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 9.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 8.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 6, 11 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2444265.5.
The golden number for 1980 is 5.
The epact number for 1980 is 13.
The year 1980 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/28/1979 and ending 2/15/1980.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Goat.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Otter; your plant is Fern.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Parmuthy, the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 9 Shevat 5740.Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 10 Shevat 5740.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.6.11.1 which is12 baktun 18 katun 6 tun 11 uinal 1 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Sunday, 9 Rabi'u'l-Avval 1400 (1400-3-9).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 6 April 1980.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 6 April 1980.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 20 February 1980.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 25 May 1980.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 1 June 1980.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 11 September 1980.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 1 April 1980.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 19 February 1980.

As of 3/6/2009 12:35:28 PM EST
You are 29 years old.
You are 350 months old.
You are 1,518 weeks old.
You are 10,631 days old.
You are 255,156 hours old.
You are 15,309,395 minutes old.
You are 918,563,728 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Jennifer LB Leese (1970)
Bridget Fonda (1964)
Cris Collinsworth (1959)
Mikhail Baryshnikov (1948)
Nick Mason (1944)
Troy Donahue (1936)
Donna Reed (1921)
Skitch Henderson (1918)
Jerome Kern (1885)
Lewis Carroll (1832)
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756)

Top songs of 1980
Lady by Kenny Rogers
Upside Down by Diana Ross
Call Me by Blondie
Starting Over by John Lennon
Another Brick In the Wall by Pink Floyd
Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen
Rock with You by Michael Jackson
Magic by Olivia Newton-John
Funkytown by Lipps, Inc.
Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.16086105675147 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)

Your lucky day is Saturday.
Your lucky number is 4 & 8.
Your ruling planet(s) is Saturn & Uranus.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Leo.
Your opposition number(s) is 1.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 327 days till your next birthdayon which your cake will have 30 candles.

Those 30 candles produce 30 BTUs,or 7,560 calories of heat (that's only 7.5600 food Calories!) .

You can boil 3.43 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1980 there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1980 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1980 in the US there were 2,406,708 marriages (10.6%) and 1,182,000 divorces (5.2%)
In 1980 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1980 the population of Australia was approximately 14,807,370.
In 1980 there were approximately 225,527 births in Australia.
In 1980 in Australia there were approximately 109,240 marriages and 39,257 divorces.
In 1980 in Australia there were approximately 108,695 deaths.

Your birthstone is Garnet
The Mystical properties of Garnet
Garnet is used as a power stone.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Emerald, Rose Quartz

Your birth tree is:Cypress Tree
The Faithfulness - Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy content, optimistic, needs enough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic and careless.

There are 294 days till Christmas 2009!
There are 307 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waxing gibbous.

*Storm before the Calm*

I woke up this morning around 5am, showered got dressed and walked outside on my front porch. Freshly fallen untouched (for approx 30 seconds before Kona ran around!) snow and cold crisp air. From my porch I have an amazing view of the Wasatch Front! With the sun coming up and the colors of orange and pick hitting against the mountains... I couldn't think of anything other than "this is pure beauty". And that is exactly what life is!

I'm not saying it's been an easy life- I'm just saying life is beautiful!

Life at times is so confusing, frustrating and hard. I'll admit when it comes to certain things I have just wanted to give up, choose another road to make things easier for me! I have lived by a saying.... "A storm before the calm"! Life is just that! When life seems to take every possible wrong turn and everything seems to go wrong - I remind myself "a storm before the calm"!

It's those trials, situations, and decisions (STORMS) that have made me who I am today! I'm learning, after 29 years, that these Storms will continue to come. They will continue to bring cloudy moments to my mind. However I'm also learning, that my heart is always clear and a good rain coat will help out! I have learned that my "rain coat" is what I know as Family, Friends, A good book, Music, A hike or bike ride to help clear my mind!

In my past blogs I have done spotlights, birthday wishes, blogs about where I've gone, what I've done, etc. I realize it may seem like I haven't blogged about many activities or adventures lately, but I have! Just a different kind of adventure! ( In fact those activities are still occurring just not on the blog! I am still calling radio stations to embarrass myself and my love life, I am still laughing non-stop at the pranks pulled on me at work, I'm still outside boarding, hiking, snowshoeing - which bye the way I took Addison for her first time!! She did amazing and had a great time!) I am blogging about my adventures of finding the inner me!

For those of you that saw me the fall of 2006 returning from Arizona- I think you will all agree when I say I have come a long way! Quite a storm! Whew glad that one has passed!

Thank you all for being part of my (almost super hero like) rain coat! You are all amazing and have helped me so much!

I love what the storm has brought me and I am excited to see the future!

I never thought that a situation so ugly could bring such beauty and clear vision into my life!

*Thought*

Amazing, isn't it, how some see the glass half empty and others see it half full? Some see life hopeless, some hopeful. Even when things are less than perfect, if you can think of the good, the beautiful, the hopeful, you'll be more than sustained.